Question and Answer - Life Balance

"Braden, Random question that may seem off topic for your blog but I was wondering how hard it has been for you to balance the LGO work load with family? The reason I ask is because I am thinking of applying for the 2012-2014 class and I have a wife and 3 month old son. I've heard that the LGO experience is intense because you are fitting in two degrees into two years. I was wondering if you could talk a little about your balance on the blog?"

You're right, LGO is intense, but in my experience (and that of many other parents in the program) it is very doable.  In fact, that's really the reason I have this blog.  It was one of the things I was most nervous about when coming to the program, but some of the parents in the class of 2011 assured me it was doable, you just needed to make sure to keep your priorities straight.  Here are some of the things that have helped me and my family.

Living On-Campus
The on-campus family community at MIT is really great.  We moved to Cambridge from Peoria Illinois, and both my wife and I are from the western US, so moving to an urban area in New England was quite the transition.  As well, because we knew we would likely be moving for 6 months for the internship (while some internships are local, most aren't) we were worried about finding a place where we could adjust quickly and my wife could make new friends while I was at class.  Living on-campus allowed us to do just that.  There are a lot of families with children, so my wife and daughter were able to quickly make new friends in our same situation.  As well, my commute is all of 10 minutes, so I'm able to spend more time with my family and less time commuting.

Setting Up "Family Time" Boundaries - & Sticking to Them
For me, this has been really important and helpful.  When you come to LGO, there is so much to do and so much happening on campus that it would be easy to let school time over-run family time.  However, at the end of the day my family is more important and will still be with me after I graduate, so I don't want to neglect them.  I also want them to be able to look back at the time we spent here as a good experience as well.  To try to make that happen, we set up Sunday and Saturday as "Family Days", and advised my groups that I would be unavailable to get together for assignments on those days.  While I did get some push-back at first, we were able to work it out.  It does mean that I generally have to get more done during the week to free up my weekend, but having that time with my family has been essential.  I must admit, some Saturdays in fall when thing got especially heavy I did have to go to school for a few hours, but I never missed a Sunday, and we were able to maintain this family time throughout the summer. It allowed us to take advantage of all the exciting things to see and do in and around Boston, to go to church, and it gives me a chance to play with my daughter and give my brain a much-needed break from school.

Making LGO an Experience for the Family, not Just for Me
This doesn't mean I bring my family to class, but there are a number of more social events where significant others and children are invited ("Spooky Sloan" at Halloween for one, and other bbq's and such).  I make it a point to bring my wife and daughter to these whenever I can to help them get to know the people in my class that I'm spending a lot of time with.  It's always a lot of fun, and my classmates love to meet and play with my daughter.

Planning and Communication
This one almost sounds like an item in a marital advice column, but I think it's a crucial part of maintaining a good life balance with family while at LGO.  I put my school calendar on my wife's computer (you learn to love google calendar at LGO), so she knows which days/weeks are going to be heavier and which ones are going to be lighter.  She also adds to our shared calendar so I know when she has other commitments or when our daughter has a checkup with the doctor - MIT medical is only a 2-minute walk from Sloan, so I've actually been able to be there for most of her checkups.  We've also agreed that because some weeks are heavier and some weeks are lighter, I'll spend more time with my family on the lighter weeks to make up for the heavier ones.

Coming to LGO with family you undoubtedly have a different experience than your unattached classmates, but it is definitely something that can be done.  There's always at least a few people in each class that have kids, and a good portion with spouses or significant others.  As well, a few students generally become parents each year, so you definitely won't be alone.  I've found LGO and MIT to be very supportive of my family, and while it has been an adjustment we've been loving the experience.

Thanks for the question!